Your most important homework
The woman was speaking of her life experiences to a packed house. Her energy and F-bombs fully engaged the audience in laughter and thoughtful consideration of how she was growing.
Then she mentioned a man she met who did something remarkable, and then died unexpectantly two weeks later. He wrote a list of things he would never change about himself.
I was jolted by the thought and had to hold back tears. I've never been asked to do that. Have you?
This is not a typical list of your strengths, but something deeper. Amidst a holiday message barrage that you are not good enough unless you buy something... as you close out the year striving to achieve goals that if not achieved imply you are good enough... as you rush around shopping and preparing your home and/or other activities to prove you care enough...
It will be incredibly powerful for you to write a list of the things you would never change about yourself, and I suggest, the reasons why.
Yes, we all are told to make lists of things to change, improve, fix, GET BETTER... As a matter of fact, people hire me to improve as leaders (and people). Our first meeting is to define lists of behaviors and processes that need to be improved. This is important, but we are missing the balance of recognizing our deepest strengths.
STRENGTH. Dr. Karyn Marshall, DC, is an American Olympic weightlifter of Norwegian descent who is notable for being world champion in 1987.
What if I started each engagement with a new Client by requiring them to write a list of things they would never change about themselves, and why? Unfortunately too many of us have life experiences where a boss, coworker, "friend," or family member believe they have the spiritual or intellectual gift of correction. And we are their target.
During this season of love, I encourage you to do what might be the most important homework you have to complete before year end: Write a list of the things you would never change about yourself, and why.
There is a lot of good there. And it is very healthy to remind yourself of it not just now, but often.
I would love to read your list if you want to send it to me. If you cannot think of anything to write, then contact us and let's work together to remind you of what a special blessing you are. Our conversation can be totally confidential.
Last week I talked about how forgiveness leads to gratitude.
This week, please accept my sincere encouragement to forgive yourself because no one is perfect, and be grateful for what you do best. Appreciate your deepest strengths. You are unique, just as you were designed to be, and that's a wonderful fact.
P.S. This is also a very powerful exercise to do about someone else. The list of things you would never change about them may be short, but it will help you better focus on areas you can appreciate in them. Think of a Christmas gathering where everyone shared one thing they would not change in each of the other people? It would be incredibly powerful.
